Timothy Rogers, M.A.,L.M.F.T. verified by GoodTherapy.org
Request Appointment
Find A Therapist Featured


Style vs Disorder

     Our emotions are the most important aspect of ourselves. Decisions made from instinct or "gut feelings" are more often than not exactly the "right" ones. But for some of us, our emotions tend to get away from us and we have a lot of difficulty regulating them. So much so that our relationships (which mandate a certain maturity to managing emotion) are challenging at best or non-exsisiant. For those of us who experience this, our emotional world is like a being on a constant rollercoaster and anyone with whom we are in relationship is unknowingly along for the ride, sitting next to us, but without that "protective" bar that comes down over your lap. 

Managing our emotional world is something every adult eventually learns (hopefully) and yet for a lot of us, being able to sustain healthy relationships is a skill set we never learned. We never learned because we were never taught, nor was it modeled for us.

     Our interpersonal Style is one of "less than" or "not enough" therefore we don't experience having a sense of ourselves more times than not. Without a strong enough sense of ourselves, it is nearly impossible to sustain a healthy relationship with others because the one we have with ourselves is, well...FEELS - fragmented. 

     The goal for someone with this style NOT disorder is to learn to have a strong enough sense of themselves, to know more consistently and therefore more confidently who they are. To be able (more times than not) to name, manage, regulate and express your feelings (and therefore your emotional state) that is clear, directly and with empathy for self and others (in that order) is to be vulnerable. 

Vulnerably is the source of hope, empathy and authenticity. If we want clarity in our purpose, vulnerability is the path. - Brene Brown