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LEARNING 2 B ATTRACTED 2 WHAT'S HEALTHY

Another Inc. Blog by Timothy Rogers, MA, LMFT

Growth is painful

Change is painful

But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong. 

Our First Blog Entry

January 15, 2018

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Our Second Blog Entry

February 14, 2018

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'Meh' as Mantra

September 29, 2018

In Difference, there is change, and if change scares you, feeling Indifferent seems a less frightening option. But maybe, just maybe, you could learn how to feel the fear and do it anyway.


I would like you to observe what you feel inside yourself so that you don’t have to believe me. If you've ever thought something similar to this: "I still have these strong emotions regarding my past experiences," you've just answered why you are attracted to unhealthy people, situations and are destined for more. 


Why? Because of the way you are looking at your Self. You say that you have grown intellectually, that you do meditation and that you go to nature, keep a journal, and maybe even have "done therapy" before, but you still don’t feel relieved, or can exhale and be at peace with your Self or content with your life.  There is still suffering inside and you are feeling that way because you have been accepting inaccurate interpretations about what happened (and what is happening) to you in your life.


Wouldn't it be nice if you could view your Self and the negative, troubling, disappointing and even traumatic experiences you've had from a different and more emotionally accurate point of view? One that could leave you not just with a peace of mind, but with peace inside?


In learning how to be attracted to what's healthy, you're invited to remove the idea of feeling guilty in your life. Why? Because when we think of feeing guilty,  we want to punishment those who are guilty. And as long as you keep thinking that are you feeling guilty for something you could have an inaccurate perspective on, you'll stay attached ("addicted") to your resentment, suffering and pain (aka punishment).  


When you are punishing yourself via resentment toward others, internal suffering and psychological pain, you walk through life with that energy, "understanding" and a skewed perspective. You may be perceptive of others, provide empathy for what's happened to them and no matter what achievement, successful reward or opportunity provided you...Meh becomes your mantra.


. You can recognize this in what you are feeling toward your father. Try this perspective, instead of looking for a guilty in your life (maybe your father or mother for what happened to you, or all the thoughts you maybe having about yourself, blaming yourself for your parents leaving you).


Think of what happened to you gratefully, thanking your parents for showing you all what you have inside (resentment, pain, selfsteem, bad relations, all of this is ignorance because you feel bad and that is a great indicator, that is showing you that you are thinking in a wrong way), because they gave you the great opportunity to change yourself and to learn to love. All what you are feeling has nothing to do with what happened to you at seven or earlier. But those events are showing you what you have inside, which is ignorance and beliefs, and you are suffering because of them and all the wrong assumptions your mind is making. Ask yourself this question: All what you are thinking about your father is leaving you with peace or suffering? what you are feeling is resentment and that is because of the way you are thinking, because of your system of beliefs, You can’t get possitive results in your life wiith beliefs. That is why, no matter how much meditation you do, or go into nature or read, you won’t stop suffering. Because neither of the latter will change your mind, that is your labor.

When you where kid you where in a state of inocence but the thing with innocence is that it get contaminated with ignorance, beliefs and everything that you learned from culture. All of this was non verified information you just too it for granted because your mind didn’t have any prior information to confront it. You started to make all those wrong interpretations that make you suffer and that suffering is showing you your ignorance. That is why I invite you to take a look at what happened to you with thankfulness. If it wasn’t for that situation you won’t be able to start cleaning your mind of all your ignorance. I assure you that this way of thinking will ultimately give you peace, why? because it requires that you change your system of beliefs and you can’t fool yourself with this because you can do an inner evaluation. If you feel peace inside, you can see that you’ve changed beliefs for truths, because truths leave you peace inside. When you can look to the past and remember that situation without feeling anything and remember it as a very important event in your life because of what it tought you and all the understanding it gave you, you will know that you are cured. That is equal to learn to love, that is why love is not a feeling but a very deep understanding, Love is the capacity you have to understand, comprehend, respect and accept the world and people without wanting to change them and to do that you have to learn to clean your mind.

That is what I invite you to do, to remove all the interpratations you are making that make you suffer for a new information of truth and comprehension of love that is going to leave you peace inside. This won’t be easy because it means changing yourself and being alert of what you think and all the thoughts of suffering that come into your mind. If what you think makes you feel bad, then that is ignorance. Suffering is useless and is showing you that you are thinking the wrong way. Give it up, renounce to suffer.