ROGERS FAMILY THERAPY
YOUR GROWTH IS NOT THE ABANDONMENT OF OTHERS
(The Core - Existing)
Unearthing our Real Selves means systematically excavating a disorder of unworthiness, Reclaimed as we catch up to our true purpose.
When all is said and done, and we are with ourselves, on the toilet, on our death bed, or when we are the most satisfyingly still. At the core of our Selves is Self Worth.
Some cultures have named this part of The Self, the Soul, or in many beliefs in faith, this is our Spirit. In the field of psychology this is our Sense of Agency, our personal reference point of who we are as we know ourselves to be. In the specialized subconscious focus of Depth Psychology and psychoanalytic or psychodynamic psychology, this is who we really are. Our Real Self.
It’s established at birth and in what can be experienced as healthier state of personality development, is *encouraged in childhood from caregivers with a solid sense of their Self Worth. Therefore, they are better able to pass it onto us.
SELF - ESTEEM
SELF WORTH COMES FROM FEELING WORTHY JUST BECAUSE WE EXSIST
e.g. a child runs into a room where their caregiver is and sees in the caregiver’s eyes that they are excited to see them. All the child has done is enter the room.
Their existence is validated as worthy or of value to the child’s most important people, so what has been established at birth is enhanced/encouraged/‘proven’ to the child. This especially influences the child when they are between the ages of 0-3 years.
As their Self-Worth is encouraged, a person’s emotional world and the ability to manage it in a more consistently mature way develops from there from the inside out). This person is better able to take action toward the one area of life in which emotional maturity is mandatory to its success. —>
ALL RELATIONSHIPS especially ones of intimacy aka: letting others in on how you authentically feel about …. Anything important to you.
When we DO something well over and over again first failing & not giving up, we establish Self Esteem. MAYBE A MENTOR or at least one caretaker reinforces what this person does at a pivotal developing stage aka puberty and with Self Worth established,
SELF - ESTEEM
becomes a genuine experience and can be repeated by doing esteem-able acts. Practicing and not giving up.
SELF - CONFIDENCE
PRACTICING Self esteem by PERFORMING estimable acts, DOING that enough times, creates the outer layer. What everyone outside of you sees. “Oh She’s confident, look at her go!”
Those souls who are convinced, that they are without any SELF - WORTH established within themselves have been convinced by not having been encouraged to believe this by the adults in their young, forming of Self lives, that they are not worthy of existing.
Of course some children are told directly, horrifically cruelly with words (mental abuse), with pain (physical abuse) or with the manipulative lying that is to devalue their natural need to feel necessary. These children receive messages from the adults in their little lives that tells them to denial their feelings and refuse their experience of what’s sane (emotional abuse).
The dogma of another person’s beliefs become the “feelings” about themselves. Slowly but surely, moment after moment, mom after dad after mom after me (in that order) and in order to have internal order, the worthiness of their birth fades from the center of their earth, and their intuitive sureties of how they feel about themselves becomes a specifically dystructive narrative or tape or voice about how to save themselves.